Its just a piece of cardboard really. Its a piece of cardboard and its wrapped in like the shittiest synthetic fabric there is. Rayon? Raydon? Is that a thing? Something like that though. Its plastic-y. Its a bizarre square hat that doesn’t flatter the shape of anybody’s head, and its got a bit of string hanging off it made from the same damn plastic fabric as the rest. And its itchy. And it musses your hair. And it makes your hairline sweat a little bit, you in your big plastic wizard’s robes, like a kid in a cheap halloween costume. You in this huge room full of people, some chattering excitedly, some fidgeting nervously, some sobbing emotionally, some just zoning out and waiting for it to be over. And the stupid thing keeps slipping, somehow. Your beautiful plastic hat is stuck on your head, not by a pleasantly soft fitted lining, but by an elastic headband. Your fancy hat of achievement is held on your head the same way a lunch lady keeps her hairnet up.
(Man that went REALLY quick!)